The Whopper

The solution to the high price of gasoline in April 2022?

I (BMcC[18-11-46-503]) remember an episode of the 1950s Superman television series where Superman brought a very bad criminal to justice. The criminal was holed up in a supermetal cube which nobody, not the FBI, not even Superman could penerate. The criminal was untouchable. Crime was about to go unpunished!

Cheering flag waving leads to crying flag draping, on coffins.

The criminal was waiting for the statute of limitations on his crimes to expire. He was monitoring the world time standard: The United States Naval Observatory (USNO) master clock. Just in the nick of time, Superman had a brilliant idea that saved the day: He went to the USNO and had them speed up their clock. A little while later, the criminal walked out of his cube 5 minutes after the statute of limitations on his crimes had expired → into handcuffs.

Thus did I learn, as a young child, how the battle for truth, justice and The American WayGod help America! is won → by cheating.

Ethical meat

I, BMcC (18-11-46-503) was graded 727/756 on my SAT examination. You are what you eat.

"Hey, Fred, did you hear that crash?" "Yeah, Sam. You know what it is, right?" "Another deer ran out in the road?" "Think so. Let's go get it." [A few minutes later....] "Sam, do we want to eat it tonite or take it in town and sell it?" "I'm not really hungry, Fred, and we could use the money. Let's go while it's still fresh! Chef Francouse is always looking for specials for his regular customers at Le Dejunier sur L'herbe." "You bet, Sam! Let's go!"

"Mrs Kennedy, I'm terribly sorry. Your husband is totally brain dead. There was no hope. Whoever did it really got him. There was nothing we could do." "You're sure, Doctor?" "No question, Mrs. Kennedy. Whoever did it blew half his brain out of his skull, and what's left is like it was hit by a hand grenade." "OK, Doctor, since it's final, was he healthy before the crash?" "He was. We ran blood tests for prion disease and some other things. He was fit as a fiddle." "Well, then, Doctor, we'll fly him home for dinner. Somebody will have to call ahead and have the White House chef ready to dress him. Thank you again, Doctor." "I'm really sorrry, Mrs. Kennedy. There was absolutely nothing anybody could have done." "Bon appetit, Doctor!"


+2022.06.17 v013
Prev2a.gifReturn to Puns and riddles
⇒ Go to: the end of the earthNext2a.gif

BMcC signature seal stamp. Modelled on 18th century messenger's letter box in collection of Suntory Museum, Tokyo. Japanese write poems and prayers on slips of paper which they tie into knots like this shape although with longer legs. Prayers are often tied to branches of trees which can look like they are covered with snow. "Symbol of a symbol, image of an image, emerging from the destiny that is sinking into darkness...." (H. Broch, "The Sleepwalkers", p.648) Always remember. Add value. (This image created not later than 21 May 2003)Invenit et fecit

This page has been validated as HTML 5. It is valid when removed from the Wiki environment and massaged to stand alone.

2022-06-17 08:14:50