Draft proposal to have been presented to the man and the woman who brought me into this world, for raising me


General principle: Respect me and earn my respect. Negotiate not dictate. Note there is nothing in this proposal which would have been beyond your financial means. If you could not have met the minimum criteria you either should not have become pregnant with me or else have transferred me to persons who would have been capable of and willing to so.

As the saying goes, this is not rocket science; it's simple respect and decency which would have helped you become better persons, too. (This plan inspired by Russia's 17 December 2021 proposal for a new European security architecture. Both plans intended to break unipolar hegemony of one superpower and replace it with a multipolar order.[1])

Counterfactual speculations are always merely speculative. But I do have one example showing that I would have been willing to compromise with them: The doctor using a tongue suppressor to inspect my throat was intolerable for me: I would gag. I found that by straining to open my mouth as wide open as I could, the doctor did not need to use the intolerable thing to see down my throat. The problem was that my parents and school teachers needed to "come down off their high horses" and respectfully engage with me as their peer not "lord it over me" as a subordinate creature. Turning a cliche on its head: "Who did they thin they were?"

Things that could have been expected no matter how ignorant or impecunious you were

"Tom, do what you believe is right. You will make mistakes. We stand behind you." (Tom Gee's mother; poor Appalachian dirt farmer with perhaps 4th grade education)

For reference, you could phavve modelled your behavior in regard to me on Luke 2:41-52 in he Bible.

Things I needed but which wre probably beyond your capacity

Things you did do right by intent

To sum up again

I think I would have been willing to negotiate an equitable compromise with my parents and school (and government, too, in its time), based on the rational principle:

If I do not care about what matters to you then I have no reason to expect you to care about what matters to me. If you do not care about what matters to me then you have no reason to expect me to care about what matters to you.

Them help me and me help them. This follows from what I have quoted from Melanie Klein elsewhere: here. Win-win. [My parents were clueless. My school teaches were mean-spirited. My government most of all wanted a free lunch out of me (SSS identification number: 18-11-46-503). But lots of other people want to get a free lunch without fessing up to it, too.]

But that's not the way they approached me. It was them tell me what to do, and me do what they told me to do. Them give orders and me obey.

They would not have liked it if the roles wer reversed, would they? Why did they do unto me as they would not have done unto them? I speculate two principal reasone: (1) They were benighted: they had been socially conditioned to be that way, and (2) They hadn't like it when they were on the receiving end so they are taking it out on me instead of their own parents and teachers, because the latter might have fought back wheraas I was vulnerable.

(1) Unreflected but convenient-for-themselves "idiocy", combined with (2) kicking the cat (me). And by keeping me ignorant, either intentionally and/or conveniently unwittingly, I did not realize what they were doing to me so they got away with it. Te only evidence I can produce is that I figured out 2 way for physicians to inspect my body without using procedures I found intolerable (here, and here.

I imagine I would have even been willing to be a collaborator: to help them maintain their regime of autocratic power over other young persons, who didn't seem to mind it like I did. If all the other boys liked getting haircutted I could have scheduled barber shop appointments for them. If they liked being tested and graded I could have handled their student records, making sure the teachers got grades in on time. Just not for me, thank you. [They would probably be offended at this: a child who did not know "his place". Like "Southern whites" felt about "uppity negroes" before Civil Rights, yes? My teachers were my masters.]

+2024.02.16 v101
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  1. The analogy is close: The United States tries to encircle Russia with NATO to turn it into a client state: a supplier of raw materials. My parents and, later, my teachers tried to encircle me to reduce me to being their colony. Or like the Saigon regime and the Vietnamese peasants. They were imperialist aggressors. But I was more like Vietnamese peasants than Russia since I had no weapons with which to defend myself, not even a Fifth Amendment right: Because we want only what is good for you, you shouldn't even try to defend yourself against us, i.e.: defend yourself against your own best interests. We only want what is best for you, so we have to make you do it whether or not you understand and appreciate it....
  2. Instructions to barber: "This child does not like being here so be a quick as you can. Do not under any circumstance use a razor because that traumatizes him. Take off only what is necessary for him to be allowd to attend school. If possible do not leave any itchy sniplets of cut hair on his body which require him to take a unnecessary bath. Do AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE, TO UPSET THE CHILD AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE, and let him get out of here as quickly as possible. THANK YOU."
Unfortunate for themself, the person who lacks one; unfortunate for others, the person that is one. Don't be an a**hole!
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