Return to Puns and riddlesMore humor
"Behind every joke is a grievance." / "The funny man is a man with a grudge." (Marshall McLuhan)
- In a Tampax ad (which actually once existed and may still exist today somewhere on the public Internet), a young lady said to a doctor she was concerned that she could not find a tampon which she had previously inserted into herself. The doctor gently asked the lady where she thought it had gone. The lady replied: "to Heaven?"[1] (BMcC[18-11-46-503])
- "Parent: 'Where did out go?' Kid: 'Out.' Parent: 'What did you do?' Kid: 'Nothing.'"[*β] (Art Linkletter)[2] (BMcC[18-11-46-503])
- Somebody please! Change Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelenskyy's diaper! He smells!
- "In the Soviet Union, the past was unpredictable." (Source unknown)
- All prigs go to Heaven when they die. What do they do there? They do SEx work. What's that" They all have jobs at Stork Express, delivering "blessed events" from The Netherlands to ladies who are too embarrassed to fuck but still want to have a baby.
Mens sana in corpore sano
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PERIODICITY
There's one Kit Kat left....
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From Marshall McLuhan
In French Canada, there was a mouse who, hearing a cat's signature noises, hid in his hole in the floor. Silence. Then barking of the family dog. Dogs do not eat mice, so all clear, right? Cat to mouse on mouse's way down into Kitty's digestive tract: "Being bi-lingual has its uses."
Boeing USAF New Refueling tanker humor (intended or not?)
Turnaout is fair play
Many years ago in New Scientist magazine there was a cartoon of Albert the Laboratory Rat. We see Albert sitting in the former Lab Director's plush leather executive desk chair, popping positive reinforcement cookies with one little front paw, and pressing a button on a little box with his other. Behind a one-way mirror we see the former Lab Director screaming in agony as Albert administers electric shocks to him in a kind of Milgram experiment.
Walking stick for a blind cat lover
"A fish rots from the head" (Ian Blackford, in Parliament)
Return to Puns and riddlesFootnotes
- ↑ Roz Chast proposed that lost cat toys go to bedrock under New York City. Apparently she was wrong about that: they too must go to Heaven? God must be awfully busy with all these lost tidbits coming His way?
- ↑ Art Linkletter had a daytime TV show where he talked with children, and he let the kids say what they thought. At the time I (BMcC) thought he was silly. I now think Art Linkletter was a fool in the Medieval sense: A person who got paid to tell the King what the King might not want to hear, but since his job was to look silly he could get away with it and the King could choose to laugh off bad news or take it to heart or any combination thereof, according to his whim and wisdom. In the present instance, the enemy aka: parents, per the 1949 Geneva Conventions, if captured, you are only required to give: Name, rank and [serial] number.
- ↑ There was one good thing about working in the office. When the vending machine man came around and restocked the snack vending machine, he threw out unsold expired items (items past their "Use by" date), including expired Doritos. He deposited them in a trash can next to the vending machine I would take the expired Doritos and have free expired Doritos to eat. He did not object.
Invenit et fecit