- All prigs go to Heaven when they die. What do they do there? They do SEx work. What's that" They all have jobs at Stork Express, delivering "blessed events" from The Netherlands to ladies who are too embarrassed to fuck but still want to itchy, kitschy, coo.
- Dinner table. Cats eating on dinner plaes. Kids on floor eating their Happy Meals with older children having moved up to Big Macs, and Bigger Gulps.
- Greatest sex picture ever and I almost lost it because I had not been scrupulous enough in keeping my backups, when I had to erase everything on my computer. But I did [just barely...] good enough and was able to remake the picture from ny original download which had thankfully! been backed up, and also, having only lemons, I made lemonade out of the problem by adding a new piece to the caption: here.
- Newspaper headlines you may have missed:
- Titanic runs out of coal off Martha's Vinyard after slowing down for ice field. Being gloriously towed into New York harbor.
- Roosevelt sends letter of appreciation to Admiral Yamamoto for successful strike on Pearl Harble, giving him excuse he needed to bring U.S. into war
- August 1914: Celebrations all over Europe; Archduke Ferdinand is dead[4]
- Three Soviet Cosmonauts successfully land in Khazakstan with bodies of dead American Astronauts. First men to land on the moon and safely return
- Peace in Korea. Communists agree to ceasefire after Macarthur drives them back over 47th parallel
- President Kennedy's motorcade through downtown Dallas cut short after bullets ricochet off his car's plexiglass top
- Deal of the century: France buys British North American colonies from King George II
- Alexander the Great returns in triumph to Alexandria after signing peace pact with Chinese Emperor.
- Herod pardons Jesus. Riots break out in Jerusalem
- Attempted assassination of President Lincoln foiled: Bodyguard Alan Pinkerton apprehends Confederate agennt John Wilkes Booth at Ford's Theater
- 20 july 1944: Hitler is dead after bomb explodes at military briefing. Colonel Claus Schenk von Stauffenberg takes power and orders ceasefire of all German forces
- 04 May 1945: The Chancellor of Germany, Adolf Hitler, has flown out of Berlin for an unknown destination. The Russians have taken complete possession of the city. The war in Europe is won.
- Albert Gore wins 1999 Presidential election after Ralph Nader withdraws from his third party bid in Florida, declaring: "I will not be a spoiler."
- (1956) Four powers agree to peace treaty uniting Germany as a neutral country. The Cold War is ended.
- Kuomintang Party wins 2024 Taiwan election promising peaceful reunitifcaiton with the mainland
Mens sana in corpore sano
Boobs
There's one Kit Kat left....
From Marshall McLuhan
In French Canada, there was a mouse who, hearing a cat's signature noises, hid in his hole in the floor. Silence. Then barking of the family dog. Dogs do not eat mice, so all clear, right? Cat to mouse on mouse's way down into Kitty's digestive tract: "Being bi-lingual has its uses."
Power outage in an nth-world country (USA)
+2023.08.30. This is not really funny but it is true. The electric power is out in this warm humid mid-summer night. I hear a neighbor's generator running, and I think of Toto's song, "Africa": "I hear the drums echoing tonight...."
Boeing USAF New Refueling tanker humor (intended or not?)
Turnabout is fair play
Many years ago in New Scientist magazine there was a cartoon of Albert the Laboratory Rat. We see Albert sitting in the former Lab Director's plush leather executive desk chair, popping positive reinforcement cookies with one little front paw, and pressing a button on a little box with his other. Behind a one-way mirror we see the former Lab Director screaming in agony as Albert administers electric shocks to him in a kind of Milgram experiment.
Walking stick for a blind cat lover
Arcatectural drawing
- ↑ Roz Chast proposed that lost cat toys go to bedrock under New York City. Apparently she was wrong about that: they too must go to Heaven? God must be awfully busy with all these lost tidbits coming His way?
- ↑ Art Linkletter had a daytime TV show where he talked with children, and he let the kids say what they thought. At the time I (BMcC) thought he was silly. I now think Art Linkletter was a fool in the Medieval sense: A person who got paid to tell the King what the King might not want to hear, but since his job was to look silly he could get away with it and the King could choose to laugh off bad news or take it to heart or any combination thereof, according to his whim and wisdom. In the present instance, the enemy aka: parents, per the 1949 Geneva Conventions, if captured, you are only required to give: Name, rank and [serial] number.
- ↑ There was one good thing about working in the office. When the vending machine man came around and restocked the snack vending machine, he threw out unsold expired items (items past their "Use by" date), including expired Doritos. He deposited them in a trash can next to the vending machine I would take the expired Doritos and have free expired Doritos to eat. He did not object.
- ↑ Alternate headline: On advice from advisor Grigori Rasputin, Russia refuses to join European hostiities.
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