I am not "Gay" (I am not "happy, either)


I am not sexually attracted to males, although, due to resentment and jealousy, I am fascinated by uncircumcised – unmutilated – penises. But I am not sexually attracted to males. (I am not sexually attracted to many among females, either, for that matter). I do, however, find Donatello's statue of David erotic (right; not the famous Michelangelo sculpture which seems to me more like "locker room" machos with its oafish mitts), don't you? I think most persons are "polymorphous perverse", i.e.: persons enjoy enjoying irrespective of prigological categorizations. Anything that might send a person to the hospital or to the morgue is not a good idea, but other than that, what's bad about anything that feels good to all the participants even if not to peeping Nancys?

However, suppose I was attracted to male flesh. No way would I frequent "gay bars" or bathhouses: Those places are not epidemiologically safe and have too many people in them. I would not think of myself as "gay", which sounds like the inanity of "the gay nineties" with their celebration of sentimentalized asexual male-to-male "love" (they should either have been self-pleasuring or else have got into bed with each other). I doubt Plato was "platonic". Socrates's acolytes, certainly Alcibiades, were not post-pubescent putti, for Christ's sake. "Gay" sounds almost as uncouth and down-status as the sound a politlcally correct bullfrog makes: "Woke! Woke!" I would not be or ever speak of myself as "gay". I would say I liked sex with males not females, or that I was: "homosexual, not: heterosexual". I would like erotic pleasure, not being "gay". The shortest path to an orgasm does not lie through a mass street demonstration for me, does it for you, my reader? Further, as Friedrich Nietzsche said: "What care I for happiness? I have my work."

White supremacists attack these people and then they complain about it. Nobody should hurt anybody, period, including "playing" tackle football or lacrosse, right? But If you wave a red cape in front of a bull, aren't you asking for trouble? Why don't these people be modest? Is baiting bears their form of violence: provoke bad people to hurt you and they get them arrested for hurting you instead of you getting arrested for provoking them. That's pretty "sick", isn't it? Especially when they do it in a country like Saudi Arabia. But some people [not necessaryin homosexual...] get off on hurting themselves like even going on "hunger strikes" to get PR.

"Gay Pride!" How tacky! I would want nothing to do with fashionista males who were out publicly exhibiting themselves as "gays". "Gay pride"? Does that mean being proud of being a member of a particular social category, like maybe patriotic pride God help America! or black pride or whatever? I would not consider myself any kind of thing. Cinderblocks are what's; I would consider myself to be a who, as the Deity in the Bible says of Himself: "I am who am", not: "I am a member of the class of Deity things."

I would be embarrassed to imagine myself as a lumpen bourgeois walking woking down the street in a leather jacket with not "Hells Angels" but: "Gay Pride" on the back. Give me a break!

A sometimes friend and a chance encounter

Now many years ago i had a friend who was homosexual. This was back in the 1970's. He had probably tried to repress it and married and had a daughter. He was highly schooled, with a Ph.D. in an applied hard scientific field from a top notch university. I think he even wrote the textbook and established a department in a different university. But he was not educated: he did not have liberal arts learning. His wife did not help: Sometimes a [Unitarian] church group would meet on Friday nites at his home and the wife would snatch up the daughter and both of them would disappear, apparently to protect the daughter from his "straight" professional SES friends. Donna the bitch.

Earlier, this man had tried to commit suicide while completing his dissertation, by slashing his wrist in a bathtub full of warm water. He divorced the bitch and moved to a different state where he became a kind of center of the homosexual, or we would now call it, gay community. I once visited him there in his very architecturally interesting house, and that's where I discovered Amanda Lear's records ("Sweet Revenge" and another one). I continued in contact with him for years until I sent him a copy of my Ed.D. dissertation [in a humanities field], probably emphasizing that, unlike his degree, it was not a Ph.D., i.e.: no threat to his standing in life. He responded by saying if he had the power he would prevent me from getting a degree from what I wrote. I immediately stopped interacting with him. Many years later when he had a big birthday and there were a lot of messages adulating him on his persona website, I sent a picture of a piece of pottery I own that he made which is good quality, from over 40 years ago. No response.

Contrast: In Japan, while visiting Buddhist temples in Kyoto one day, I was sitting contemplating the dry garden in the temple and the abbott came and sat beside me and discretely, gently tried to sexually arouse me. Alas, no luck, because I am not interested in men. But I thought this was very good of him and I certainly did not indicate any hypocritical reaction. If he had been a she, it might well have turned out differently, but no such luck.

Another opinion

LA Times. 08/25/2022. "Religious leaders... had been begging the bearded patriarch to speak out against the Russian invasion of Ukraine. But [Russian Orthodox Partiarch] Kirill... has done just the opposite, painting the war as an apocalyptic battle against evil forces that have sought to destroy the God-given unity of Holy Russia.... "He congratulated Russian soldiers as defenders of the fatherland and said they 'cannot have any doubt that they have chosen a very correct path in their lives.'... He described the conflict as having 'metaphysical significance' and warned his flock that the price of admission to the happy world of Western consumption and freedom was as simple as it was terrible: to agree to hold gay pride parades. 'We are talking about something different and much more important than politics: We are talking about human salvation.'"

Americans moved into Levittowns! Levels were split! Lawns were mowed! Mary Hartman saw the waxy yellow buidup on her kitschen floor! Big Macs were eaten! SUVs flourished! Americans got in their cars, and commuted (not death sentences)! We were: "Runnin' on empty, runnin' around!" (ref.: Jackson Browne song) ~ America's greatest contribution to the history of world architecture: The single family split level [or raised ranch...] suburban tract development house on 1/4 acre or more of grass lawn so why not just make it astroturf?

What "happy world of Western consumption and freedom"? "Our beautiful and successful suburbs" (+2020.07.16, DJT)? Bread and circuses → but ever since, at latest, Ronald Reagan, for many Americans, ever less bread albeit ever more circuses.

I agree with neither the gay pride parades not Patriarch Kirill. I urge a third way: "The Idea of Europe": to take all social customs and ideations as objects for analysis, not as candidates for belief (see here), and in peaceful study to create in the arts, crafts and sciences while quitely and self-reflectively cultivating the simple pleasures of mind and body. Alas, this likely can only work for persons educaded in the humanities, not the ignorant or even likely nfor computer programmmers and managers with masters degrees, i.e.: more shooling but no more education ("cultural self-formation"). If wishes were horses then beggars would ride. (Jay Unger)

All parades are bad

All parades are bad because they stir up always coarse and even aggressive emotions. Gay pride parades are particularly "flagrant", but then Fourth of July parades are materially worse. Gay pride parades are celebrating life not strife.

+2024.01.15 v049
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