Cartoons I would draw if I could draw that would probably get me in trouble with prickly people who can't tell the difference between sticks and stone that can break their bones and words that are just character strings which can't materially hurt anybody, just their "feelings". Boo, hoo!

"Every joke expresses a grievance. The funny man is a man with a grudge."^[1] (Marshall McLuhan; from memory)

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¶ Big - butt - mama

Woman probably in her late twenties or early thirties [not "jail bait"!] with enormous chirurgically augmented buttocks like apparently some uncouth locker room men like and are popular in Brazil. She has taken her panty off and bent over. Behind her is her guy: A big thick hunk of meat like a pro football lineman or my 7th grade Englich teacher, Mr. Mike Rentko. He has temporarily set aside his big can of cheap beer. He is furiously pumping away at a tire inflation pump inflating her buttocks ever bigger. Last cel: Her buttocks explode sending bodily fluids all over everything. End of cartoon.

¶ Playing ball with Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelenskyy

I would make all sorts of cartoons, using Mr. Zelensky's remarkably spherical head as a tennis ball for Novak dJOCKovic to bat around, a softball for 9 year old boys to swing at with a baseball bat on a T-ball pylon, the NBA to use as a game ball to dribble and shoot, a soccer ball for players to head butt and kick, a bowling ball with duck pins of the cronies he has placed in high offices in Ukraine's government, and, naturally: a JOCK-o'-lantern for Halloween.... (And I could use the rest of his strong TV commando body for a male version of The Silent Woman, dressed in drag.)

Also: (1) Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelenskyy on all fours with one of his hind legs raised, urinating on a fire hydrant. (2) Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelenskyy as a screaming infant with all his still apparent baby fat, with bodily fluids running out all his orifices, messing his diaper, crying: "More weapons!"

¶ The obvious

This is a no brainer: I would draw all sorts of cartoons of people in the form a feces with two legs, for instance in mass protest marches for Good Causes (where their leaders emit huge clouds of semiotic flatulence they suck in: inspiring speeches). Just substitute a piece of shit for the cigarette in the drawing at right. The more there are, the less each is worth. 7.94 * 10 ** 9 and still further increasing always in quantity but only rarely in quality.

¶ A dog and his tail

Another no brainer: A cartoon of United States President (POTUS №46) Joe Biden as a dog, with Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelenskyy as his tail, wagging him. The tail wagging the dog.

¶ Mr. S. Atherton Middleton

A cartoon of the St. Paul's Day Carcel for Pubescent Male Virgins except for omerta sanitary services for jocks Headmaster when I was a student there (1958-64), Mr. S. Atherton Middleton, defectating prep school faculty and student bodies fecal matter: here

¶ The most dangerous WMD (Weapon of Mass Destruction)

A picture of a woman with a big radiation hazard symbol (☢) on her abdomen because the uterus is a threat to civilization in general [The population explosion...], and to the personal freedom of the woman who is held hostage with it inside her in particular. (Enola Gay delivered her Little Boy, on time and on target.) Also, of course, a cartoon of a massively pregnant woman exploding, spattering uterine contents all over everywhere.