WelcomeThe shape of the world (for me (BMcC[18-11-46-503]))
This morning (+2023.04.05, I had a bump on my nose. As usual, since it was not a mole which is dangerous and potentially fatal, I picked at it with my fingernail to try to get rid of it. Surprisingly at one point a small encysted lump came out and all that remeinded ws an entirely empty, clean little crater on my nose. I was rid of the loathsome little thing. I would of course like to have the flesh of a young lady fashion model, but I can live with craters. Lumps are intolerable: they are unwelcome alien intruders. But holes are just emptiness. a pock-marked face far better than face with carbunckles (Iseem to recall my maternal grahdfather looked like the old stereotype of a "Neanderthal".)
Always keeping in mind the fate of King Midas (Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it), absence of things does not bother me much. Presence of things that are not helpful is intolerable. What an improvement had my intrusive mother and adolt school teache[r]s been replaced by empty space. Thinking about it, after maybe no laer than age 8 years(?) I could have got on without a mother (there was a sudent in my class in the prep school who lived with his brother in a house that had a housekeeper, not a mother)
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Irecently I heard someone make an incisive point: what is precious is not time but attention. Had my childrearers offered me appealing objects of attention in the world, would my attention hve become so focussed on minutiae of my body?
Attention to any one thing entails inattention to many other things. Here, attention to something of high value would have meant inattention to things of no value. Which leade me to an irony: When people told me "It's no big deal, Brad", they were telling me that nobody cared about anything that might matter to me, so all I had left was my little body which itself was under threat from them). But if by "It's no big deal, Brad" they had meant they were offering me the sun, the moon and the staas so there was no time to waste on the small stuff like petty people an dtheir indifference to me, or to some objectively inconsequential pimple on my skin, that would have given that sentencee a different sense, wouldn't it?
