WelcomeMy view of life (my cosmology)
I want my life to be entirely peaceful and calm. No trouble and, if that be the tradeoff, no "excitemnt". No people poking at me. Everythig being Matissean "luxe, calme et volupte". Whatever is not perfect, all moles and pimples, need to be dug out and excised. As a tradeoff, empty holes are OK because they contain nothing bad. Bu what I really want is to savor good things: peaceful, calm, lucid, friendly....
Mos of my life, especally my childhood, wa and has been full of moles and pimples. Anythin gthat "builds character": "true grit" is highly unwelcome. It makes things rough and tough, not sensuous/sensual smoothe: the flesh of a slender young woman in her late 20s or aerly 03s, or a house cat. Note also from the above piture that I seek not geometrical perecction but the perfection of hand finishing by a master craftsperson.
Any lump of oher excrescence on my body has to go. I do not know how the supermodel Cinty Crawford could have tolerated living with ath little raised mole jus abover her upper left lip. I would hav ewanted to dig the wretched thing out with my fingernails but I could have controlled myself hold out long enough for dermatologit to excise it and send it to whre it belongs: a pathology lab – proviced I could have got an appointment quickly, certainly within a week. The disgusting mole on my chest as a teenager wrecked my life.
An important question to which I dop not know the answer: If I hav e had childrearears who were appropriate, who would have raised me [[up...], not rear[end]ed me, would I hav been so troubled by small but ultimately innocuous blemishes as I have always been? Assuming Cindy Crawford's mole was dermatologically 100% benign, coul I hav elived with hit on my face and not ha eb been troubled by it being there? I do not know. I was childreared by people who ruined my life. "Keep America bautiful! Get a haircut!" → And be sure to get circumcised first!
"From those who have little, what little they have shall be taken away."
