Upon watching the video of a seminar: "What is Guilt", a link sent to me by Professor Michael Eigen. "A" and "B" are my self-talk.

A likes to have conversations directed to G-d in which A accuses G-d of crimes like testing Abraham or Job, but in which A is also ready to recant if G-d can't handle it and throws an omnipotence tantrum. "I didn't mean it, Lord. Please, have mercy on your poor creature." "You lie. I know everything; I read your thoughts. No eternal life in Heaven for you, ingrate! Just who do you think you are? I showed those Babel builder upstarts Who's boss; ditto you."

How did I (BMcC) meet Gordon Hirshhorn?

I met Gordon L. Hirshhorn through a recommendation from a fellow IBM employee, Alan Tritter. Tritter was too smart to be able to finish his doctorate at Oxford/Cambridge. He was also so overweight that he was certified to use the freight elevator at the IBM Watson Lab. One day when he had an infectious disease, he pressured me to drive him home, which is how I got asthma and bronchitis intermittently ever after. Tritter and Gordon Hirshhorn had earlier in life swapped wives, literally, each divorcing and remarrying the other's now former wife. Tritter worked in the IBM APL2 group where he did things that included solving puzzles to write complex programs in 1 line of APL code. The APL2 group, manager Adin Falcoff (who may have earlier worked with Ken Iverson, the inventor of APL), was not a "good" place to be in IBM Research because APL was not on IBM's strategic agenda. The only way APL had ever seen shipment as a product was when an APL group in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania leaked it. Anyway, I believe tritter was eventually retired by IBM for reason not altogether clear to me, but probably in part becaue his obesity cum diabetes was killing him.

Back to GLH: Alan Tritter is how I met Gordon Hirshhorn. It is possible -- memory here fails me! -- that I had told Tritter I had given up on psychotherapists, and Tritter had replied something like Why not try his friend, since I had nothing to lose by it?  

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  1. Westchester Institute for Training in Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy
  2. countenance
  3. Bob Dylan has a song, titled "I contain multitudes" [I have heard that someone who had Dylan as their landlord > 25 years ago found him not a good one; how to reconcile that with his music?]. "Individual human experience": "Lebenswelt", as I learned from Yale Professor John Wild.
  4. A thinks there is a pre-personal primordial field of actions and events, out of which the infant precipitates individuals -- self and others and things -- by distinguishing those which the infant seems to "control" from those it does not "control".
  5. Reference is to the Medieval morality play, "Everyman." In the play, Everyman, who represents every man, woman, child goes on a journey to his death.
  6. "A Distant Mirror"
  7. Murasaki Shikibu, "The Tale of Genji", ca. 1050CE. A lovely book, perhaps the first modern novel. I (BMcC) bought my copy of the Seidensticker translation at Maruzen bookstore, Ginza, Tokyo, 198?. "Nothing lasts forever in this world where one season changes into another."
  8. Senator Joseph R. McCarthy referred to persons who sympathized with The Communist Party but were not members of the Party ("Communist sympathizers") as: "fellow travellers".
  9. St. John's Episcopal Church, Lafayette Square... a historic Episcopal church located at Sixteenth Street and H Street NW, in Washington, D.C.... adjacent to Lafayette Square, one block from the White House... often called the Church of the Presidents.
  10. A is unemployed, and monitors The New York Times, The BBC and CNN throughout the day. When A learns something, e.g. (POTUS №45) Donald Trump's newest misadventure, he wants to tell somebody about it. A's wife, the usual and usually annoyed recipient of these frequent little outbursts, says to A: "You need a buddy."
  11. Psychotherapy sessions famously last a "50 minute hour", the remaining 10 minutes being used by the therapist to get ready for the next patient.

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2022-02-26 19:02:01